Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
how does that bad decision feel?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
