Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
