well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize