Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize