im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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