he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she told me i tasted like america
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
