Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you