You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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