Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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