Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
