i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
