Can Purell be used as lube?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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