sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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