Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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