Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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