OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I CAN MOONWALK!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
