The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
