I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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