Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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