they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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