well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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