can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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