Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
