My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
