those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
