Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
honey bunches of taint.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
