it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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