I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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