and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
