Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
