More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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