I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
be right there i have to get my cape
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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