Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
