i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
