So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
