So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
