I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
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I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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