when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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