So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
