Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
