A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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