Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
