im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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