That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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