ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
