just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
