omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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