i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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