32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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