Will you blow on my dice?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize