i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
