Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
