I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
