One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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