She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
