We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
