I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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