Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
