take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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