How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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