my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
