I cut my penus on the lid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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