So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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